Bears as bland as white bread and water

Following a relatively successful 3-1 pre-season, combined with the fact most of last year’s Super Bowl team was returning, I, like most other Chicago Bears fans, thought we had a great chance at having another super year. After four weeks into the regular season, I’m not even sure the Bears have a chance at winning their division. Heck, if they continue to play like they have so far in 2007, they may not even make it to .500. We may even end up being returned to the old days of hoping for a good draft pick.

Their offense is not only impotent, it’s nearly extinct. They only have two offensive touchdowns in four games. One came on a pass play to a lineman. The other was a fingertip catch on a ball that was actually thrown too high. They were so confident in their rushing game, they let Thomas Jones go to the New York Jets. Without him, they have yet to score a rushing touchdown this season. So far, that move looks like a huge mistake.

Last week, they opted to bench starting quarterback Rex Grossman. The only problem with that move is his backup; Brian Griese didn’t play much better. In fact, he threw three interceptions, one of which was returned for a touchdown. So far, that move didn’t work, either.

Without the dynamic returns of Devin Hester, this year’s team would look as bland as a meal of plain white bread and a glass of tap water. Bears fans are starving for more.

It doesn’t look like we’ll be dining on steak and lobster anytime soon. The Bears travel to the home of their long-time division rivals, the Green Bay Packers, for a prime-time game this Sunday night (Oct. 7). The way Brett Favre and his Packers have been playing so far this season (4-0), the Bears are going to have to do something drastically different to even have a chance at winning that game on the road.

Short of reincarnating Sid Luckman and Walter Payton—or perhaps cloning Hester—I’m not sure there is anything they can do.

Hopefully, we’re not in for another 12 weeks of bread and water. Head Coach Lovie Smith and Offensive Coordinator Ron Turner need to come up with something that will work, and they need to do it quickly. Toast is starting to sound good to me.

Doug Halberstadt can be reached via e-mail at

from the Oct. 3, 2007, issue

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