Bored with OTW? Try Unknown Hinson Aug. 30 at Kryptonite

Tired of the On the Waterfront walkabout? Take your super self to Kyptonite and surrender to the weird weaknesses and strengths of Unknown Hinson on Aug. 30.

I’ve seen quite a few guitar players through four decades, but I’ve never seen one as wildly good and funny as Unknown Hinson. Really.

He’s like a high-speed, electric combination of Chet Atkins and Roger Miller on a monster, wacked-out drunk, chasin’ women, playing flaming, farcical music.

Imagine: a compact bundle of wire in a black country & Western short-jacket suit; a partial set of proudly displayed bad teeth; some fake, black eyebrows and mutton-chop sideburns; a mad-man’s glare, a black pompadour do; all twitching on knock-kneed and straddle legged stances—wailing the fastest rock-a-billy guitar you’ve ever seen. The two fellas backing him up in black pants, white shirts and black string ties, guard his antic with slab-solid bass and drums.

Maybe he calls himself Unknown Hinson because he plays like he had a pile of time in prison to practice guitar. He sure riles those strings and frets like he’s trying to make up for unknown crimes committed and long times served.

His North Carolina drawl roots out self references, such as “the King” or “I’m the king of Country and Western troubadours.”

“Youngerns,” “sacks” with “womerns” and “rawk,” ‘n’ roll are elemental concerns on Hinson’s Rock ‘n’ Roll is Straight From Hell, a six-song EP on Capitol Records. Git it. You’ll “lacks” it.

But if you can’t roller skate in a buffalo herd and laugh, don’t experience Hinson. If you is unknown to the sound of “a seal of a fresh fifth of licker bein’ popped,” or if you “ain’t sure what sacks” you is, Hinson’s lyrics might git disturbing. Listen up. He’s no correct stranger to any politics:

I want your love on command

It’s communism if you don’t obey

I want your love on command

Every bit of your love on command

It’s un-American for you to act this way

You’re a fascist if you act this way

Other crooning love songs from Hinson include “Don’t bite the lips that kiss you,” “Silver Platter” and “Lingerie.”

So if you want some love advice straight from the wittiest trailer parker around, get it on with Hinson Aug. 30 at Kyptonite, West State Street and the mall, complete with a new sidewalk cafe. Tickets are $5. Watch the crowds go by and ride the Unknown Hinson train of hot music and twisted laughs.

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