Gimptasia: a hurricane of a fantasy

Gimptasia: a hurricane of a fantasy

By Rod Myers

By Rod Myers

Freelance Writer

The imperfect storm gathered fury off the East Coast. This low-pressure cell was too small to be officially given a name, but the locals were calling it the Christopher Reefs Storm, because it was stalled and sitting over the highly snorkeled and famous Reefs of Christopher.

Then, like a spinal cord gone haywire, the storm’s jolting electrical emissions pushed it ashore Rolling inland from the coastline, the storm was heading straight for the sleepy little town of Rampton, Connecticut. Half of Rampton’s residents were disabled, but the town was made up of mostly historical landmarks; thus, most of the town was not made wheelchair accessible.

One 300-year-old building was accessible, however, and this was Rod’s Orthopedic Prosthetic Shop and Supply Company. And wouldn’t you know it, somebody left a cellar door open at Rod’s business, and that night, made it accessible to the deluging Christopher Reefs Storm.

As the rainwater began to fill the basement, it moved the lighter-weight walking implements such as crutches, walkers and canes. It wasn’t long before they were floating about in mirthful unassisted mischief. Crutches became walking cranes dancing in rising water like whoopers assisting weak-legged East Coasters. Canes bobbed up and down in the frothy fluid like those plastic or ceramic horses that go up and down as they revolve on a carousel at the carnival.

At one point, the rising water became turbulent, sucking wheelchairs out of basement storage. The chairs rode the surf with the other medical accoutrements until all were flushed from the basement in a bursting instant-free to ride the surging flow across a drowned Rampton.

A few law officers who braved the night in Rampton witnessed not only a killer storm; they also witnessed things of a strange spiritual nature.

The officers claimed that on the night of the storm, they watched disabled ghosts using real crutches, canes, wheelchairs and walkers, negotiating dangerous flood waters to access and exit every inaccessible historical landmark building in Rampton.

The next day, with the storm long gone and the flood waters receding quickly, the townspeople began to return. But to their scary amazement, they found a wheelchair, a pair of crutches, a cane and walker on every roof of every historical landmark building in town. Actually, just the able-bodied people were scared. But they got even more scared when they heard about the disabled ghosts that the local law enforcement officers had seen.

So the able-bodied townspeople who held all the power were frightened into changing their stupid little laws about not making historical landmarks wheelchair accessible lest ye deface. Then they made the whole town accessible, and all the townspeople lived accessibly and happily ever after.

By the way, the bad storm that hit Rampton occurred on the evening of October 31st.

Rod Myers is a local resident with an interest in the environment and disability issues. He has an associate’s degree in science and a bachelor’s in fine arts. Rod is a member of the Audubon Society, the Wild Ones Natural Landscapers and Rockford Amateur Astronomers, Inc.

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