Online Views: Bin Laden, jihaddin' and Bush

Editor’s note: Although Joe Baker has retired, he’s still an advocate of news that can only be found on the Internet because corporate sources exclude so much information. Viewpoints from around the world are also rare related to Americans by our domestic press. The Rock River Times welcomes our Senior Editor Emeritus back with his occasional columns about issues and viewpoints on the internet that pique his interest.

What! Osama bin Laden died again? This guy has more lives than the proverbial cat! A writer named Glenn Greenwald checked out the bin Laden timeline and found that Osama began dying about this time in 2002.

Greenwald said in the World Tribune, Oct. 16, 2002: “Osama bin Laden appears to be dead, but his colleagues have decided that al-Qaeda and its insurgency campaign against the United States will continue, Israeli intelligence sources said.”

As Ed Naha, writing on The Smirking, said: “A French newspaper, ‘L’Est Republicain,’ cited a memo from the French counter-espionage agency, DGSE, sent to them by their Saudi equivalents, stating that Osama definitely croaked last August because of ‘a severe bout of typhoid fever,’ or chiggers or, maybe, a bad fall off a ladder while cleaning his cave’s rain gutters.”

According to some sources, the U.S. and the Israelis decided bin Laden probably died in the fighting in Afghanistan in December of that year (2002). That was one of the earliest of the administration’s imaginative fabrications. The most recent obituary, by Michael Ledeen, was in the National Review in January of this year.

Ledeen, whose brain is permanently warped to the extreme right, wrote: “According to Iranians I trust, Osama bin Laden finally departed this world in mid-December. The al-Qaeda leader died of kidney failure and was buried in Iran, where he had spent most of his time since the destruction of al-Qaeda in Afghanistan.”

Pretty neat trick, Michael, since most reports from Afghanistan considered credible have said al-Qaeda and the Taliban are enjoying a resurgence in that country and control a good chunk of it. Then consider the fact bin Laden is a Saudi and a Sunni, who are battling the Shiites supported by Iran in the streets of Baghdad and across Iraq. By the way, bin Laden was our CIA’s major ally in fighting the Russians in Afghanistan, just as Saddam Hussein was President Ronald Reagan and Don Rumsfeld’s major ally against Iran. Yes, we supplied both bin Laden and Hussein, now…

Then there was CBS News in July 2002, this time right from the horse’s mouth: “FBI counterterrorism chief Dale Watson said Wednesday he believes Osama bin Laden is dead—the first time a senior U.S. law enforcement official has publicly given an opinion on the al-Qaeda leader’s status.”

In an amazing manipulation of mortality, bin Laden’s demise turned up as a topic on CNN in January 2002, seven months before he died for CBS. The “Confusing News Network” reported: “Pakistan’s president says he thinks Osama bin Laden is most likely dead because the suspected terrorist has been unable to get treatment for his kidney disease. ‘I think now, frankly, he is dead for the reason he is a…kidney patient,’ Gen. Pervez Musharraf said on Friday in an interview with CNN.”

Just last year, in December 2005, the Christian Science Monitor repeated claims from the Rummy-dummy in the Defense Department: “U.S. Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld said Wednesday that he doubts Osama bin Laden is in any position to command the worldwide operations of al-Qaeda. The BBC reports that Mr. Rumsfeld told reporters on a flight to Pakistan that bin Laden could still be hiding along the Pakistan-Afghanistan border, but it was hard to know since the terrorist leader had not been heard from in more than a year.”

Maybe he was hiding out at the ranch in Crawford, munching on goat cheese and sipping margaritas while awaiting his paycheck. On the other hand, there is the view of the Pakistani Ausuf in October 2005: “The Pakistani newspaper Ausuf which is based in the city of Multan in the Punjab Province, is reporting that Osama bin Laden died last June in a village near Kandahar in Afghanistan. According to the newspaper report, bin Laden was campaigning at Bamiyan, fell very ill, [and then] returned to Kandahar where he died and was buried in the Shada graveyard in the shadow of a mountain.”

But the ol’ boy wasn’t done dying yet. In April 2005, a writer for the National Review confided: “Was chatting with Jim Robbins. He keeps hearing this morning that the president might have some OBL news tonight. A new Islamist Web site is reporting that bin Laden is dead…and Musharraf has for the first time said that OBL is in his country.”

Don’t ask the Prez where bin Laden is or if he’s still breathing. Bush said not so long ago that he did not know bin Laden’s whereabouts nor did he much care because OBL was no longer important. That was before his popularity ratings skidded to record lows, of course.

But the demise of bin Laden presents problems. If you really have the guy croaked, then you can’t call him up and order a threat message when there’s political gain to be had. Haven’t you noticed how in recent weeks, bin Laden has suddenly popped up on the scene again, and threat messages attributed to him were appearing on Al Jazeera and elsewhere? Ironic, isn’t it, that bin Laden has become more popular than Bush?

Well, maybe not in Pakistan…

Now for some real laughs.

As posted by, The Associated Press’ Jake Cole reported Sept. 26, 2006, about Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf’s appearance on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart: “As a gesture mirroring Pakistani hospitality, Stewart welcomed Musharraf with a cup of jasmine green tea, and offered the more American delicacy of a Twinkie. Musharraf chuckled and thanked the host, though Stewart promptly changed the subject.

“‘Where’s Osama bin Laden?’ he asked suddenly.

“‘I don’t know,’ replied Musharraf. ‘You know where he is? You lead on, we’ll follow you.’ …

“To conclude the interview, Stewart put Musharraf on the ‘Seat of Heat,’ a new feature for the program in which red lights flash around the studio, and the guest is asked a final question.

“‘George W. Bush and Osama bin Laden _ be truthful—who would win a popular vote in Pakistan?’ asked Stewart.

“‘I think they’ll both lose miserably,’ replied Musharraf, an answer met with raucous laughter by the Daily Show audience.”

But without Bush’s favorite Saudi—the Wahabi Wizard—you can’t run up the multi-colored threat flag anymore. No, you have to run down to the corner souk (marketplace) where you can buy exploding hair oil or the latest CD by al-Qaeda and The Kinks, and get Mustaffa bitchen al Zaqatawi, the local fruit vendor, to put on a turban and play the bad guy. You’ve seen him recently on Fox News and CNN mouthing dire threats against this country. It’s the standard pattern whenever the boys and girls in D.C. are trying to sell us a bogus storyline.

So Karl (Rove), what time is the terror attack? With the election only 30 some days off, we all know it’s coming. I figure it will probably be around the middle of this month.

Maybe you can get some of your friends in the Mossad to pull off one of their famous “false flag” attacks. You know, the ones where they dress up like Arabs and blow up stuff. Perhaps using matzo balls stuffed with C4 plastic explosives and left on the Washington Mall. It wouldn’t hit anybody important; Congress is mostly out of town, gone home to tell lies to the voters so they can stay on the trough and keep stealing Social Security trust funds.

As The Smirking’s Naha phrased it: “Republican-controlled Congress? Pile into your Clown Cars and zigzag back home to beat your chests about this new ‘terror’ bill and all your other great and grand-glorious accomplishments. And k

eep your heads down. Don’t look up from your Abramoff-enhanced wallets. Just keep on concentrating on your small islands of power.”

Anyway, the “October Surprise,” I’m nearly certain, will come off right on schedule, and we can all enjoy the blood vessels in Dick Cheney’s neck as they throb in time to the backfires from Willie Nelson’s tour bus. That insane giggle? Oh, that’s Karl Rove, he has just had a peek at the results of the November election.

From the Oct. 4-10, 2006, issue

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