Ramblings from Reggie: Why my columns aren’t as fluent as Mike Leifheit’s

I’m this reluctant writer who sits down to write this column, and two things come to mind: How come I can’t live as well as Mike Leifheit, and why are my columns not as fluent as his?

Mike’s been writing for years and never seems to run out of material, and he travels like my friends Bitsy and Karen. Well, maybe not as much as Bitsy and Karen, but he nonetheless travels well.

I think about the answer to this question, and it suddenly becomes clear. One answer, two questions: it’s clearly because I’m an idiot.

After accepting that brief bout of reality, I remember I must spew out a few words that should be at least mildly interesting. (I really can’t understand why The Rock River Times puts up with this nonsense.)

My Yankees don’t suck anymore. As of this writing, eight wins in a row, and the pitching is strong. Only eight behind the dreaded Red Sox! I knew we were making them uncomfortable because my buddy Paul, who owns the Rue Marche, yelled at me for wearing my Yankees hat into his establishment. Like my Grandma used to say all the time, “Screw the Red Sox.”

Dinner at the new Chestnut Street Grill was fantastic. The meatloaf was very good, and the place looks great. It’s nice to have a good neighbor—not one who is always into your beer and drooling over your girlfriend. I wish the boys good luck down the street.

OK, I’m not advocating violence, but if state Sen. Emil Jones (D-14), Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich (D) and Illinois Attorney General Lisa Madigan (D) were sitting at some bistro in Springfield dividing up our money, and a gas line gave way…I’m just saying. OK, OK, maybe too much Sopranos. I miss it already. Everybody is speculating Tony Soprano is dead, but clearly fate would have him living on in his hellish existence.

My daughter is traveling to France this week. I can’t help but think why. Sure, she’s 18 and idealistic, but I’m 44 and frightened. There aren’t too many people who like us over there, and the euro is $1.33 to $1. I’m sure she’ll be safe, have fun and dig into her inheritance a little. After all, she is nice and doesn’t possess my cynical, sarcastic attitude. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Didn’t Bob Barker retire 10 years ago? I thought he went to jail when he beat up Happy Gilmore! I don’t really track celebrities, but I do know the judge was livid when he found out Paris Hilton was released. Thank goodness he is on top of that master criminal.

This week will be spent with the wonderful Julie and at Swilligan’s with entertainment Thursday-Sunday. Should be a blast! We’ll be watching Major League Baseball games from around the country on the big screens and enjoying the summer. The girls are all working hard.

You have to stop in on Monday or Tuesday and see the shot Doctor, Rian. She’s a mad scientist. Hille is there Sunday nights, and Miles is there Thursdays.

I broke three of my own covenants since opening Swilligan’s: I put in neon lights, I hired a guy bartender (remember, Miles was part of the lease), and I started doing karaoke Wednesdays and Saturdays. Oh, well, the kids seem to like it.

Continue to enjoy downtown, go Raptors, and remember Swilligan’s The Pub.

Reggie Roberson is owner of Swilligan’s “The Pub,” 200 N. Church St.

from the June 20-26, 2007, issue

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