Tube Talk: ‘Kudocasts’: Some fun new TV award categories to consider

Awards season is upon us. First up was the People’s Choice Awards, then The Golden Globes. The Screen Actors Guild’s SAG Awards are next, airing on TNT and TBS at 7 p.m., Sunday, Jan. 28. The Writers Guild, Directors Guild, and the American Society of Cinematographers all have non-televised awards coming up in February, too.

Hollywood obviously enjoys a hefty dose of self-congratulation.

Each awards show is a bit different. The People’s Choice Awards reflect what American viewers like, the Golden Globes are given by the Hollywood Foreign Press Association (which has fewer than 90 active members), while the SAG Awards are given to actors from actors.

What I’d like to see is an awards show with more unusual categories. You know, for things even non-industry types can recognize. The average viewer can’t always discern between good and bad directing, and if given a vote for Best Actress, we might choose a beloved character by a so-so actress over a less popular character played by a gifted actress. So why not invent some new categories?

Following are a few suggestions, and potential nominees:

Creepiest Character—T-Bag (Prison Break), Ben (Lost), Sylar (Heroes), Lennox (24), Gaius (Battlestar Galactica), Dwight (The Office)

Outstanding Brainiac—Zach (Bones), Brennan (Bones), Abby (NCIS), Charlie (NUMB3RS), Goren (Law & Order: Criminal Intent)

Fastest Talker—Lorelai (The Gilmore Girls), Rory (The Gilmore Girls), Sookie (The Gilmore Girls), Lane (The Gilmore Girls), Marin (Men in Trees)

Best Voiceover—Everybody Hates Chris, Veronica Mars, Scrubs, My Name is Earl

Most Annoying Voiceover—Grey’s Anatomy, How I Met Your Mother, Desperate Housewives, Men in Trees

Outstanding Use of Sarcasm—Chloe (24), House (House), Lorelai (Gilmore Girls), Jack (Eureka), Tommy (Rescue Me)

Best Catch Phrases—“Dude,” (Hurley, Lost), “Seriously,” (almost everyone, Grey’s Anatomy), “Thank yew,” (Brenda, The Closer)

Favorite Second Banana—Randy (My Name is Earl), George (Grey’s Anatomy), Wilson (House), Wallace (Veronica Mars), Gus (Psych)

Most Precocious Kid—Bridgette (Medium), Jake (Two and a Half Men), Tanya (Everybody Hates Chris), Justin (Ugly Betty), Micah (Hereos)

Best American Accent—Hugh Laurie (House), Matthew Rhys (Brothers & Sisters), Rachel Griffiths (Brothers & Sisters), Poppy Montgomery (Without a Trace), Marianne Jean-Baptiste (Without a Trace), Joely Richardson (Nip/Tuck), Julian McMahon (Nip/Tuck), Dominic Purcell (Prison Break)

Favorite Love Triangle—Pam, Jim and Karen (The Office); Marin, Jack and Lynn (Men in Trees); Ian, Susan and Mike (Desperate Housewives)

Strangest Love Triangle—Bella, Denny and Bethany (Boston Legal); Jan, Michael and Carol (The Office); Janet, Tommy and Sheila (Rescue Me)

Outstanding Scene Stealer—Dr. Bailey (Grey’s Anatomy), Mark (Ugly Betty), Hiro (Heroes), Mrs. McCluskey (Desperate Housewives)

Best Quipper—Lorelai (Gilmore Girls), Veronica (Veronica Mars), Logan (Veronica Mars), Cliff (Veronica Mars), Sawyer (Lost)

Coolest Jack—Jack Bauer (24), Jack Donaghy (30 Rock), Jack Slattery (Men in Trees), Jack Carter (Eureka)

Now it’s your turn! What TV categories do you wish there were awards for, and who or what would you nominate?

Paula Hendrickson is a regular contributor to Emmy magazine, Variety and Rockford Life, and has been published in numerous national publications, including American Bungalow, SatelliteORBIT and TVGuide. She can be reached by e-mail at

From the Jan. 24-30, 2007, issue

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