Unknown Hinson unhinged at Kryptonite

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If you like purty insane Rockabilly moosik, go to Kryptonite on Friday, Oct. 7 to see Unknown Hinson. He’ll be the first to tell you he’s great.

Who is this self-aggrandizing perpetuator of his own myth?

The folks at www.savannahunderground.com say: “He’s a sociopathic, gun-totin’, ex-con redneck (charges include three counts of murder one, 19 paternity suits and random grave-robbing offenses) who’s purported to be a 400-year-old vampire. He’s a former carnival geek whose midway specialties were biting the heads off ‘certain barnyard fowls’ and lifting 50-pound weights with his tongue. He boasts many grand titles, not the least of which are ‘Chart-Toppin’ King of Country & Western Troubadours Ordained’ and, most importantly (to him), ‘God’s Gift to Womens.’”

With tour dates freaking through Minnesota, Illinois, Florida and South Carolina, Alabama and Wisconsin, yup, Unknown is really becoming known.

His video, Venus Bound, was given this review by liketelevision.com: “Unknown Hinson, the crazy redneck crooner, sings this delightful tale, ‘Venus Bound,’ about his trip to Venus, where he plans to act as the paternal force for a planet full of women. Why – because ‘they need a man to help ‘em breed, That means the young-uns will all look like me!’”

He’s also featured in this month’s Guitar magazine. You must buy this issue to continue the comedy.

Cartoon voicing is his latest entry into the national laugh track. Premiering Oct. 16, Squidbillies is the new animated series on Cartoon Network’s [adult swim] segment, 11 p.m.-6 a.m., Unknown Hinson provides the voice for the squid named “Early Cuyler.” Hinson says, “He’s the party liquor-drinkin’, shotgun-totin’ head of the squidbilly family.”

Seriously, he deserves his feature in Guitar magazine no matter how cartoonish he may seem. He’s a high-speed, electric combination of Chet Atkins and Roger Miller on a monster, whacked-out drunk, chasin’ women, playin’ flamin’ wailin’ licks of the fastest rock-a-billy guitar you’ve ever seen.

The music really carries the lyrics that parody so many country music songs. Here’s some songs you can download at unknownhinson.com: “I Ain’t Afraid Of Your Husband”; “I Make Faces (When I Make Love)”; “Polly Urethane”; “Hippy Girl”; “Your Man”; “Lingerie”; “Venus Bound”; “Foggy Windows”; “I Cleaned Out A Room (In My Trailer For You)”; “Man to Man”; “Peace, Love and Hard Liquor”; “Pregnant Again” and “I Quit All That Mess.”

Although both of these should be on vinyl, the first Unknown Hinson CD release was the EP Rock n Roll Is Straight From Hell. Then that and his most independent CD release, The Future Is Unknown, were picked up by Capitol Records. Yup, he’s goin’ nationwide.

Yup, all you locals better pick yourselves up this Friday night and head on over to Kryptonite to enjoy a man with a bad case of smart ass and an even badder ass guitar stromin’ ‘bility.

You can even yak to him and ax him a few quistins, as he invites on his Web site: “The ol’ Eight Ball’s got nothing on the wisdom and experience of the King. 30 years in a state penitentiary will do that to a man. Now you can tap into that pit of knowledge and ask the King himself!”

From the Oct. 5-11, 2005, issue

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