- FIFA adds prison labor to its arsenal
- Sitting on a scoop: the story behind the V-E headlines of May 1945
- Bilderback repeats at Speedway
- US permits Arctic drilling, but questions about safety remain
- ISIS takeover of Ramadi means hard choices face the Iraqi and US governments
- State Roundup: Democrat sponsored prevailing wage amendment passes
- Facebook’s Instant Articles not a threat to media
- U of I expert: Rauner’s pension fix ‘unconstitutional’
- State Senate approves lesser penalties for marijuana possession
- State Roundup: Natural gas vehicle tax stalls in committee
Puff, the magic dragon
Puff, the magic dragon, frolicked in the autumn mist, in a land called Hana Lee.
Well, this dragon was loved by all the little children. But one day, the dragon got old and miserably in pain. So he belched out fire and smoke, and no one could see, because the sun was blocked out!
Then, Pat Quinn came along and promised to slay that angry old dragon. He called his tax collectors together. But, instead of killing the dragon (our state’s debt), he said,
I will stall until the fall (autumn), and I will not make budget cuts concerning the aged, disabled and our children.
Then, when the dragon had died from natural causes, our Governor Quinn (the Mighty), became Hana Lee’s (Illinois) next dragon. And as fall approached this land (Illinois), everyone was waiting in anticipation for him to keep his (governor’s) promise. But this new dragon did the opposite by betraying those whom he was supposed to protect. The foster home’s (Goldie Floberg) checks were cut by 50 percent, as well as the poor and disabled people’s Circuit Breakers (from approximately $70 to $35). And with the Circuit Breaker return came a note that said,
According to law…blah, blah, blah… this cannot be refuted.
Then, every night, our new governor dragon went home and dined like a king!
From the October 14-20, 2009 issue