By Doug Halberstadt
Sports Columnist

As I sit here watching all the pre-game hype for the Super Bowl, e-mail alerts keep interrupting me. Most of them are about the big game. I have to share one, and I hope it makes you smile as much as it made me smile.

A man in Green Bay, Wis., decided to write a book about churches around the country. He started by flying to San Francisco and started working east from there.

Going to a very large church, he began taking photographs and making notes. He spotted a golden telephone on the vestibule wall and was intrigued by a sign that read, “Calls: $10,000 a minute.”

Seeking out the pastor, he asked about the phone and the sign. The pastor answered that this golden phone is, in fact, a direct line to heaven, and if he pays the price, he can talk directly to God.

The man thanked the pastor and continued on his way. As he continued to visit churches in Seattle, Dallas, St. Louis, Chicago, Milwaukee and around the United States, he found more phones, with the same sign and the same answer from each pastor.

Finally, he arrived in Pennsylvania. Upon entering a church in Pittsburgh, he saw the usual golden telephone. But THIS time, the sign read “Calls: 35 cents.”

Fascinated, he asked to talk to the pastor.

“Father Jones,” he began, “I have been in cities all across the country, and in each church, I have found this golden telephone and have been told it is a direct line to Heaven and that I could talk to God. But in the other churches, the cost was $10,000 a minute. Your sign reads only 35 cents a call. Why?”

The priest, smiling benignly, replied: “Son, you’re in Pittsburgh, Pa., now. Home of the Pittsburgh Steelers, six-time Super Bowl champions; the Pittsburgh Pirates; and the Pittsburgh Penguins, Stanley Cup winners; three vibrant rivers meet at the point of the most beautiful downtown area around, the city with the best hospitals, neighborhoods and friendliest people in the world! You’re in God’s country. It’s a LOCAL call.”

Doug Halberstadt can be reached via e-mail at Dougster61@aol.com.