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Santa cancels Christmas

December 18, 2013

Santa may have to cancel Christmas this year because of ObamaCare.

You see, Santa had more than 50 elves working for him, and because of the new mandates, he had to lay 20 elves off, and he had to sign up for ObamaCare by Dec. 24, but couldn’t get on the website.

When he did get on, it took him a good long time to get into the exchanges. When he did get a plan, the price was doubled from last year and didn’t cover back and leg injuries as a result of going down chimneys. Also, since he had fewer elves working and more work, he couldn’t afford to pay them overtime, since his insurance premiums had doubled.

The vet bills went up as well, and Rudolph’s “shiny nose” was considered a “pre-existing condition” and was supposed to be covered, but wasn’t.

Santa also had high cholesterol (from too many cookies and milk), and his meds tripled in cost. So, he decided to cancel Christmas because he could not afford to pay his elves enough to make enough toys.

Since Santa knows when you’ve been bad or good, he knows ObamaCare is bad and decided to wait until next year to see if Congress and the Senate will be “good.”

Brenda Bambino

Rockford

From the Dec. 18-24, 2013, issue

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